Frozen Balls, ND, besides being the climatic-conditions (Weather) armpit of the U.S., has an even more urgent issue: Ten local hunters have been abducted by a sociopathic anti-hunter. The job requires bigger and sturdier balls than Batman has. They need…That-Man.
Logline #2: Frozen Balls, ND has an even bigger problem than cold balls. A psychopathic anti-hunter has abducted ten local hunters. Forget Batman. They need a superhero with bigger, tougher and sturdier balls. They need…That-Man.
This is closer than the first attempt. We need a bit more though. Give us the pathos of That Man as the lead into the logline then what he needs to do and who is trying to stop him. Did you try the logline builder? If not go to this page https://thesuccessfulscreenwriter.com/loglinebuilder/ and use the builder at the bottom.
Logline #3: Two cool nerds hopelessly in love with Batman transform into That-Man and Rob N. in attempt to save nine abducted hunters from suffering a most unbearable fate.
Better. Paint the picture a little more clearly with the stakes and the antagonist. No use making it vague.
We want to be able to see the movie from the logline.
