Logline – The spirit of a dead child, trapped inside of a toy doll, seeks to inhabit the body of a little girl who receives the doll as a mysterious gift.
Logline – The spirit of a dead child, trapped inside of a toy doll, seeks to inhabit the body of a little girl who receives the doll as a mysterious gift.
And? This is a good start, but I’m waiting for an unusual twist. This has been done before, how is your story unique.
Thank you. The twist is that the dead girl’s mother kidnaps children. The horror element comes from the fact that people like this really exist – people who believe that the spirits of the dead can become attached to objects such as dolls – and the lengths that they will go to in order to communicate and/or be reunited with such spirits. But you are right, the logline could be more effective.
Yes! Now that’s much more interesting. If you could hint that in the logline, that would be great.
Thank both of you. You got me looking at this screenplay in terms of what it is really about, thematically. It’s gotten me to focus more on the dead girl’s mother as someone who is grieving over the loss of her child and how grief can sometimes drive people to behave irrationally. In a sense she is very much like the little girl, Laurie, who receives the doll as a gift. Laurie has just moved to a new neighborhood and attends a new school where she doesn’t know anyone. She misses her old friends much in the same way that the dead girl’s mother misses her daughter. It is the doll itself that links them together. Thank you for helping me to look at my writing in this way. It does help me to structure the story and to fill in missing pieces. I had read Christopher Vogler’s work in the past but I found it way too verbose. Your book simplifies the process and makes it easier to adapt my writing to a relatively standard structure and outline. I have not rewritten the logline yet because I have been working on the screenplay itself A LOT for the past few weeks. I am trying to have it ready to submit to a screenplay competition at the end of the month. The name of it escapes me but it is on Coverfly and one of the judges is Mike Flanagan whose work I generally admire.
That’s great, Thomas! I am so glad my book has helped you with your script and I’m glad to see you using the Forums. Spread the word.
