A prolific jingle writer struggling with the tragic death of his pregnant wife must protect a sassy young parochial schoolteacher from her battering lover, an insanely jealous police sergeant who would rather face life in prison than see her with another lover.
The idea here is good, but remember a logline is more a teaser than anything else. Think about it like this: The flawed main character+ The Goal+ The Obstacle. If you need to, depending on the story at hand, write out the treatment, then a one-page synopsis, then a paragraph, then the logline so you can work on being as efficient as possible with your wording. That said, it’s a very good start.
I agree with Geoffrey, but I might suggest using “abusive lover” instead of battering. I think it will roll off the tongue easier.
This is really good! I think it just needs to be tightened a bit.
A prolific jingle writer struggling with the tragic death of his pregnant wife must protect a sassy young parochial schoolteacher from her battering lover.
